The greatest sadness I experience as a therapist happens when I urge clients to begin attending 12-step meetings appropriate to their particular problem, and the client recoils in horror. They would rather die, they say, than go to “those meetings.”

The truth is, without becoming humble enough to acknowledge they have a deadly problem, some of these people will die humiliating, excruciatingly painful deaths.

Many of us know firsthand the miracles of 12-step recovery. What can we do to reduce the toxic shame attached to 12-step programs?

I believe the solution is to be open and honest about the positive changes and healing that 12-step recovery has brought into our lives. When we have good news, we don’t want to keep it to ourselves. We want others to experience it too. So those of use who know about this good gift need to shine a light on it to bring others out of their darkness.

I’ve listened to many people confess that when they were asked what has helped them change their behavior, they refused to admit they were in 12-step recovery. Why? Because they were fearful that someone would think them silly or inferior if they told the truth.

All 12-step programs operate under the law of attraction, not promotion. But nowhere in the literature is there a single word about lying or withholding the truth when asked what’s causing positive changes. If we’re truly working through a 12-step program, we can’t help but be better people, and the people around us are bound to notice this change. We want them to notice! They will be attracted to our growth. What an opportunity we have to help others recover by sharing what has made a difference in our lives. How many thousands, maybe even millions of people, have NOT pursued recovery because we were ashamed of being in 12-step recovery?

What is so special about 12-step recovery? We hear about it often, but do we really understand what is so exceptional about this path to healing?

First of all, 12-step programs fly in the face of what’s considered “normal” for human institutions. As businesses, none of them own any property, none have CEOs, and they thrive without advertising campaigns. They don’t follow any of the rules of “normal” 21st-century business plans. Alcoholics Anonymous is approaching its 75th anniversary, but we never hear the names of its leaders—because there are none. The same is true for the vast number of other 12-step programs that have sprung up to help people heal from issues and addictions.

Twelve-step programs truly have the power to be a world force, a resource that changes lives and communities. All 12-step programs have traditions that are followed rigorously, are key to success, and do not change with time. Twelve-step recovery programs are both timeless and powerful.

One remarkable commonality of all 12-step programs is the laughter you will hear at almost every meeting. There is so much wisdom shared, and most often it is dispensed with the gentlest humor.

I remember being in a very large 12-step recovery meeting in the Washington, D.C. area. The subject that night was “A Loving Higher Power.” I wasn’t brand new to recovery but I was new enough to think that sounding humble was the smart thing to do. When it was my turn to speak, I said, “I know that God loves every one of you unconditionally. But I also know that I was given great gifts and I let God down. I’m sure God doesn’t like me and what I’ve done with all those gifts.” And then I sat back, smug in my humility. The leader, an old-timer from Ireland, asked me to see him after the meeting. I thought that was odd, but I did seek him out when the meeting broke up.

“Aren’t you the sweetest little piece of arrogance,” he said to me in his Irish brogue. I imagine I looked baffled. He went on, “Of all the billions of souls in creation, you’re the only one God doesn’t like.” I probably started to cry because he really hurt my little ego. He went on, mercilessly: “We call that reverse arrogance. My God loves all unconditionally, and that includes you.”

And that’s been one of the greatest gifts of 12-step recovery for me: rejecting man’s view of all of us and understanding God’s view of all of us. I began to learn from that Irishman that in God’s eyes, we’re all exactly the same. All of us are critically important to the working out of the universe. I began understanding what real humility is.

There are many blessings that come from hitting rock bottom and needing a new start in life. A sense of humility was just the first for me. How about for you? Please share in the comments some of the blessings that God has given in this new chapter of your life.