The greatest sadness I experience as a therapist happens when I urge clients to begin attending 12-step meetings appropriate to their particular problem, and the client recoils in horror. They would rather die, they say, than go to “those meetings.”
The truth is, without becoming humble enough to acknowledge they have a deadly problem, some of these people will die humiliating, excruciatingly painful deaths.
Many of us know firsthand the miracles of 12-step recovery. What can we do to reduce the toxic shame attached to 12-step programs?
I believe the solution is to be open and honest about the positive changes and healing that 12-step recovery has brought into our lives. When we have good news, we don’t want to keep it to ourselves. We want others to experience it too. So those of use who know about this good gift need to shine a light on it to bring others out of their darkness.
I’ve listened to many people confess that when they were asked what has helped them change their behavior, they refused to admit they were in 12-step recovery. Why? Because they were fearful that someone would think them silly or inferior if they told the truth.
All 12-step programs operate under the law of attraction, not promotion. But nowhere in the literature is there a single word about lying or withholding the truth when asked what’s causing positive changes. If we’re truly working through a 12-step program, we can’t help but be better people, and the people around us are bound to notice this change. We want them to notice! They will be attracted to our growth. What an opportunity we have to help others recover by sharing what has made a difference in our lives. How many thousands, maybe even millions of people, have NOT pursued recovery because we were ashamed of being in 12-step recovery?
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